A few months ago my children found my high school yearbooks. After seeing my pictures, they decided I was a nerd. However, I was never a nerd, nor am I one now. Honest. In fact, for a few months in 1995 I was even suave and debonair enough to fool my future wife. Along this journey that started in a galaxy far, far way, I have learned a few things:
1. When picking up women, make sure there is little competition. Han Solo won Princess Leia’s heart. The only competition on board the Millennium Falcon an Old Jedi, a twin brother, a walking giant hairball, an annoying droid, and a rolling vacuum. When I met my wife, I was the only single guy at the Euchre Party. I was her Han Solo rescuing her from the Death Star.
2. Jedi mind-tricks work. I can never seem to find the droids I am looking for. No matter what I may be thinking, my wife always has a way of making me agree with her.
3. When you think: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” you are probably right. I have never been in a dire predicament like being in a garbage masher or giant slug. However, I have been too close to crying child who either blows out his diaper or vomits all over me, the dog, and the carpet.
4. Wookies and some people are poor losers. I have yet to lose an argument with my wife because I am a poor loser. Unfortunately, this characteristic has been inherited by my youngest son. He is a sore loser when I crush him in War, Go Fish, Sorry, and every other game.
5.If one of your family members disappears, expect a trap. In Cloud City, C3PO knew Darth Vader and his storm troopers were there but he disappeared before he could warn anyone. When my daughter was an infant, my wife would disappear. Immediately the little baby would scream and cry until Mommy returned.
4. Yoda is right: “Do or do not. There is no try.” Luke doesn’t believe he can lift his fighter out of the swamp. He is right. You have to believe to succeed. We have learned to make the kids do the chore right. They get to keep doing it until it is done correctly.
5. Do not negotiate with bad guys and children. While Leia is held prisoner on the Death Star, Moff Tarkin and Darth Vader ask her where the secret rebel is. She reveals the location to save the planet. They blow it up anyway. Negotiating with children works the same way. You give them a cookie and then they want a glass of milk.
Yes, Star Wars has helped many of us “cool” people face what life has to offer. The Force is with us!